In couples therapy, Taurus will spend the hour giving you the silent treatment for 11 business days while Aquarius is busy explaining why emotions are a social construct while you cry. The therapist will need their own therapist.

Trust exercises are pointless here. Taurus will fall backward and Aquarius will be too busy being jealous that you understood a concept before they could explain it to you to catch them.

Taurus's go-to argument weapon is weaponized silence that could cut glass. Aquarius fights back with detaching emotionally and analyzing the fight from a 'sociological perspective'. Geneva Convention violations have been reported.

Taurus's texting style: leaving you on read for 6 hours then sending 'k'. Aquarius's texting style: sending you a 4-paragraph essay on humanity instead of saying 'I miss you'. Their chat history should be submitted as evidence.

Long-term outlook: Taurus will build a beautiful life together or hold a grudge until the sun explodes. Aquarius will either revolutionize love itself or forget you exist while saving the world. The five-year plan is more of a five-minute plan at this rate.

If this ends (when this ends), Taurus will handle it by slowly removing their stuff over 8 months until you notice. Aquarius will respond by explaining that monogamy is an outdated institution, then ghosting. Netflix is already optioning the rights.

The restaurant saga: Taurus handles dining by ordering the most expensive thing and judging your choice. Aquarius contributes by insisting on a vegan place nobody wants to go to because 'it's the future'. Uber Eats has entered the chat for the third time this week.