When conflict arises, Aries will be screaming their point louder until you agree and Taurus will counter by giving you the silent treatment for 11 business days. Somewhere, a therapist just felt a disturbance in the force.

Aries checked your phone. Taurus checked your phone's phone. Welcome to the trust Olympics, where everyone loses.

Aries's go-to argument weapon is bringing up that ONE thing from three years ago. Taurus fights back with weaponized silence that could cut glass. Geneva Convention violations have been reported.

Aries's texting style: triple-texting at 2am with no punctuation. Taurus's texting style: leaving you on read for 6 hours then sending 'k'. Their chat history should be submitted as evidence.

Statistically, Aries-Taurus couples either last forever out of pure spite or implode spectacularly within six months. We made up this statistic but it feels right.

Post-breakup, Aries will be changing their relationship status before telling you while Taurus will be slowly removing their stuff over 8 months until you notice. Their mutual friends will need to pick sides, and nobody wants to.

The restaurant saga: Aries handles dining by picking the restaurant, hating it, blaming you. Taurus contributes by ordering the most expensive thing and judging your choice. Uber Eats has entered the chat for the third time this week.