Cancer thinks talking louder means they're more right. Libra thinks agreeing with both sides until nobody knows where they stand is a valid response. Neither of them is correct.

The jealousy in this pairing is a two-way street that's also on fire. Cancer will lose it because you didn't text back within 4 minutes, and Libra will retaliate because you didn't include them in a group photo.

When Cancer and Libra fight, Cancer deploys emotional guilt trips that could win an Oscar while Libra unleashes being so reasonable it makes you feel insane for being upset. The UN has been notified.

A forensic analysis of their texts would be a bestselling book. Chapter 1: Cancer sending 'I'm fine' followed by 14 paragraphs about why they're not fine. Chapter 2: Libra taking 3 hours to craft the perfect 'casual' response. Chapter 3: Mutual Destruction.

The future of this relationship looks like a choose-your-own-adventure book where every page ends in chaos. Cancer will smother you with love until you can't breathe or cry themselves to sleep nightly and Libra will create a beautiful partnership or keep you in relationship purgatory forever.

When Cancer and Libra break up, it's not a breakup. It's a season finale. Cancer goes out by writing a 3-page letter, burning it, then calling you sobbing at midnight and Libra responds by suggesting a 'break' that lasts approximately forever.

This couple's Yelp history is a crime scene. Cancer: saying 'I don't care where we eat' then vetoing everything. Libra: spending 40 minutes on the menu then ordering what you got. They've been banned from two Olive Gardens.