When conflict arises, Cancer will be crying mid-sentence to win the argument and Sagittarius will counter by being brutally honest and calling it 'just keeping it real'. Somewhere, a therapist just felt a disturbance in the force.

Trust exercises are pointless here. Cancer will fall backward and Sagittarius will be too busy being jealous that you suggested staying in on a Friday night to catch them.

Cancer's go-to argument weapon is emotional guilt trips that could win an Oscar. Sagittarius fights back with booking a spontaneous solo trip mid-fight. Geneva Convention violations have been reported.

Cancer will be sending 'I'm fine' followed by 14 paragraphs about why they're not fine at 2am. Sagittarius will be sending you travel memes instead of responding to serious questions at 2:01am. By 2:15am, someone has been blocked, unblocked, and blocked again.

In 10 years, Cancer and Sagittarius will either be insufferably in love or featured on a true crime podcast. There is no middle ground.

When Cancer and Sagittarius break up, it's not a breakup. It's a season finale. Cancer goes out by writing a 3-page letter, burning it, then calling you sobbing at midnight and Sagittarius responds by ghosting you from a different continent.

A simple 'where do you want to eat?' with Cancer and Sagittarius becomes a 90-minute negotiation. Cancer is saying 'I don't care where we eat' then vetoing everything and Sagittarius is insisting on a place nobody's heard of and pretending the food poisoning was worth it. Domino's wins again.