Aries thinks talking louder means they're more right. Capricorn thinks scheduling a meeting to discuss your feelings during business hours is a valid response. Neither of them is correct.

Aries's jealousy is triggered when you liked someone's Instagram post from 2019. Meanwhile, Capricorn spirals because you complimented someone else's career achievements. This is not a relationship, it's mutual surveillance.

Aries's go-to argument weapon is bringing up that ONE thing from three years ago. Capricorn fights back with presenting a cost-benefit analysis of why they're right. Geneva Convention violations have been reported.

Aries will be triple-texting at 2am with no punctuation at 2am. Capricorn will be responding with 'per my last text' energy at 2:01am. By 2:15am, someone has been blocked, unblocked, and blocked again.

In 10 years, Aries and Capricorn will either be insufferably in love or featured on a true crime podcast. There is no middle ground.

If this ends (when this ends), Aries will handle it by changing their relationship status before telling you. Capricorn will respond by sending a formal dissolution email with a 30-day transition plan. Netflix is already optioning the rights.

Trying to pick a restaurant with a Aries and Capricorn is an extreme sport. Aries will be picking the restaurant, hating it, blaming you while Capricorn will be checking the prices before the menu and calculating the tip before ordering. You will both starve.