In couples therapy, Aries will spend the hour screaming their point louder until you agree while Scorpio is busy staring into your soul until you confess things you didn't even do. The therapist will need their own therapist.

Trust exercises are pointless here. Aries will fall backward and Scorpio will be too busy being jealous that you breathed in the general direction of another human to catch them.

When Aries and Scorpio fight, Aries deploys bringing up that ONE thing from three years ago while Scorpio unleashes that secret you told them in confidence two years ago. The UN has been notified.

If you opened the Aries-Scorpio group chat, you'd find Aries triple-texting at 2am with no punctuation while Scorpio is reading your messages instantly but replying hours later to establish dominance. This is a war crime in iMessage form.

The long-term forecast for Aries and Scorpio is 'catastrophically entertaining.' Aries will either marry you in Vegas or ghost you by Thursday while Scorpio ride or die literally -- there is no casual option.

Odds of a clean breakup: 0%. Aries will be changing their relationship status before telling you and Scorpio will be blocking you on everything, moving to another city, and pretending you never existed. There will be collateral damage.

Date night dinner plan: Aries is picking the restaurant, hating it, blaming you. Scorpio is ordering something mysterious and judging everything you reveal about yourself. It's been 3 hours. Nobody has eaten. Love is dead.