In couples therapy, Leo will spend the hour monologuing about their feelings while you sit in the audience while Scorpio is busy staring into your soul until you confess things you didn't even do. The therapist will need their own therapist.

Leo gets jealous when someone else got more attention than them at a party. Scorpio gets jealous when you breathed in the general direction of another human. This relationship has the trust level of a Cold War spy exchange.

Leo's go-to argument weapon is dramatically declaring the relationship is over every 48 hours. Scorpio fights back with that secret you told them in confidence two years ago. Geneva Convention violations have been reported.

A forensic analysis of their texts would be a bestselling book. Chapter 1: Leo responding only with selfies and voice memos about themselves. Chapter 2: Scorpio reading your messages instantly but replying hours later to establish dominance. Chapter 3: Mutual Destruction.

Long-term outlook: Leo will build an empire together or burn it down for the aesthetic. Scorpio ride or die literally -- there is no casual option. The five-year plan is more of a five-minute plan at this rate.

Odds of a clean breakup: 0%. Leo will be making it a public spectacle with a social media announcement and Scorpio will be blocking you on everything, moving to another city, and pretending you never existed. There will be collateral damage.

Trying to pick a restaurant with a Leo and Scorpio is an extreme sport. Leo will be flirting with the waiter to make you jealous then getting offended if you notice while Scorpio will be ordering something mysterious and judging everything you reveal about yourself. You will both starve.